Falling asleep at work is like cake

Falling asleep at work is like cake; it’s so tempting, so hard to resist.

Last Monday, I discussed falling asleep at work and provided two of my solutions. This week, I need your help slaying a different beast in this nightmare.

I want to sleep like I want to eat cake. When tiresome reading cuts me a slice, it’s hard to resist. I know that work is not the time nor the place for sleep, but after a nod off gives me a taste, I want to eat the whole thing. How can something so compelling be resisted?

Perhaps there’s a reason for this narcoleptic avarice. Like cake, sleep may be desirable because it’s scarce. Maybe my sleep is of poor quality thanks to a worn out, old mattress or harsh conditions. It has been suggested that sleep may be an avoidance mechanism when feeling overwhelmed. This isn’t entirely obvious, but there’s evidence to suggest it.

What do you think is causing this demand for sleep and how can it be satisfied??

So, go on a diet and skip the cake. It’s hard, but you’ll be thankful in the long run.

Misprioritizing is like sleeping through Saturday

Misprioritizing is like sleeping through Saturday; you miss opportunities for no good reason.

Every hour of every day is your opportunity to impact your life. Said more realistically and less like a self-help guide, you constantly have the opportunity to do things which will make your life easier and better. For example, when you are weighed down by overdue tasks, you can complete the one which causes the heaviest burden; ie: has the most people waiting on it and demanding it get done. Or, you can choose a less important task, thus leaving some burden on your shoulders. Worse of all, you can choose to waste time, not clearing your plate at all.

Don’t you want to be awake on Saturday to do fun stuff? That same positive motivator can drive you to complete the work that’s causing the most headache. Get it done, you’ll be glad you did.

Misprioritizing is a polite way to say “wasting time”. So, prioritize well to take full advantage of the opportunity that time gives you.

A stockpile of money is like an ice cream cone in the summer time

A stockpile of money is like an ice cream cone in the summer time; it’s comforting, but melts fast.

Dr. Evil: ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
Number Two: Don’t you think we should ask for *more* than a million dollars? A million dollars isn’t exactly a lot of money these days.
– from Austin Powers

How much can you enjoy an ice cream cone which has melted all over your hand, shoes and the ground? About as much as you can enjoy “one million dollars” these days. Ice cream and money work the same way. Just how bad is it?

What it’s like to write analogies in a vacuum

What it’s like to write analogies in a vacuum:

Getting caught up is like catching a moving train

Getting caught up is like catching a moving train; you can’t do it.

You can run after that moving train, but you can’t catch it. It won’t stop for you. You’ll have to find an alternative method for reaching your destination, and there are alternatives. Your workload works the same way.

You are constantly being bombarded by new tasks which you want to do, should do and must do. This list is infinite, thus you can not complete everything. New tasks are added faster than you can complete them, thus you can not stay ahead. The huge To Do list is overwhelming, further preventing you from working hard. You are disheartened to see the train just keep pulling away. Here are two solutions I’ve used for this problem:

Falling asleep at work is like drowning

Falling asleep at work is like drowning; you can helplessly struggle against it, but it’s still going to pull you under.

Show of hands, who has the following problem: You’re working at your desk job, sedentary, barely moving a muscle. Perhaps you’re reading or thinking through a problem. You get stuck, either on some tricky bit of information or a roadblock you can’t work through. You’re so stuck that you hardly notice the words dance off the page, which has turned blue and has clouds, overshadowing an ominously dark stone spire, which you’re flying up the side of, approaching a window and… Everything suddenly seems a lot more flat and less interesting as you find yourself staring at the book, or at the computer screen whose document has a line and a half of ffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. Your muscles are exhausted, breathing slowed, heart rate decreased. You back track in your work trying to find where you left off. You get no further than the second sentence before everything is green, swimmy, warm and unreal. Again you wake, backtrack, and fall asleep for a moment. This process continues until you’re startled by someone noticing you or your head quickly nodding, or by taking a phone call, or best of all, by getting up and walking around.

There are easier ways to break this cycle.

Black Friday is like trick-or-treating with your kids

Black Friday is like trick-or-treating with your kids; it occurs inconveniently late at night and gives your kids a bunch of junk that gets them all excited, but you love it.

Analogizing about Black Friday is tough. It is compelling yet bad for you, sweeping you up in mob mentality while draining your bank account. It is inconvenient by requiring a late night and parking space hunting. Yet you love it. And the trickiest part about the analogy is that you actually get stuff for your troubles, though you’re likely enticed by the deals thus overbuy.

Black Friday is like gambling, where you can be compelled to sit at the slot machine for an inconveniently long time (shopping at 2am) in the hopes of an intermittent positive reward (good deal), and end up wasting lots of money. But unlike gambling, you actually get stuff. For similar reasons, it’s both like and unlike playing video games long into the night.

Thus, my best analogy is that it’s like taking your kids trick-or-treating. Cold, late, possibly crowded and a little confusing. Your kids end up getting candy (like you buying Christmas gifts?) which will make them hyper and rot their teeth (the bad-for-you part). Yet you’re compelled to go and you actually enjoy it.

Hm, Black Friday is a tough one. Perhaps because I never partake, I’m not experienced enough to comment. Please feel free to take a stab at this one.

A good night’s sleep is like eating Thanksgiving dinner

A good night’s sleep is like eating Thanksgiving dinner; too little or too much is not healthy.

Thanksgiving is a good time to eat like winter is a good time to sleep. The food, like night, is plentiful and its taste, like a cozy blanket, is delectable. Not eating your fill is a shame, leaving you grumpy and wanting more. So eat up. The more the merrier, right? There’s the problem. Eating too much leaves you sluggish and foggy. A good night’s sleep works the same way.

My hound dog Lady is like an ant

My hound dog Lady is like an ant; she gets stranded when something “breaks her line.”

“I’m lost! Where’s the line? It just went away. What do I do? What do I do?” – Worker Ant, A Bug’s Life

Searching for a solution you prefer can be like answering a test question which you don’t know

Searching for a solution you prefer can be like answering a test question which you don’t know; stare at it all you want, you won’t get it.

“You should be done by now.” – My college economics professor

Memorizing and I never got along. This explains the trouble I had in college economics, which exercised only that. The professor made knew some students had poor memories so she reminded us of this fact during quizzes by making the above statement. Guess who was never done by then.

You either know the answer or you don’t. Personally, if I must spend more than a few minutes trying to answer a question, I’ll never get it. Resolving conflicts works the same way.